The Kitchen™: And now.... Recipe Tuesday. Merry Christmas.

I'm... Hm. I don't want to say I'm a little leery about putting this out on the 'net, but... Well, yeah. Look, if you make it, PLEASE don't say you came up with the recipe on your own. Just say you found it on the 'net. I took quite a long time (years) developing this. It's originally a recipe for zucchini bread that I messed with one year because Dad had purchased too many cranberries. I've made it on 2 continents. It gets eaten, quickly. You can serve it with butter as a breakfast bread, you can put cream cheese onto it (whip it first, it spreads better) for a snack. It's a quick bread. You can bake it in muffins, you can make loaves. You can mess with the spices. I used lemons once, not oranges. I threw ground ginger in by mistake one year. Frost it with any standard frosting or glaze recipe... It changes, but there's never a bad change. All I know is I'm very proud of this recipe. It is mine. Here it is, Dear Reader. As promised...

Darkneuro's Infamous Cranberry Bread
Makes 2 Loaves or 3 doz. Muffins.

1 12 oz. package cranberries
2 cups granulated sugar
2/3 cup vegetable oil
3 teaspoons vanilla
3/4 cup milk
4 eggs
grated peel of 1 orange
juice of 1 orange
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground cloves
1 teaspoon allspice
3 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder

A Note on Cranberries: I buy fresh cranberries, a package per batch. You'd think this is a pound, but it's not. It's only 12 ounces, but it works. First, rinse the berries and pick through them for ick berries. That means you float them in at least 2 inches of cold water. If they sink, get rid of them. If they have a moldy patch, get rid of it. Soft, get rid of it. Mushy, get rid of it. You're looking for whole, ripe, hard berries that float. A slight softness around the stem is fine, but if you've got a soft patch through 1/2 the berry, you had best throw it away. Do not worry about the collateral damage such weaning will cause. You'll have plenty of berries for the bread.

Take this picked-through package of berries and chop them. I use a food processor. I have also used a blender. I really prefer a food processor. If you do use a blender, do yourself a favor and put some of the milk in and use the milk to chop the berries with. You'll need some sort of liquid in the blender, otherwise they just hang out on the sides and you'll get nowhere.

Prep your pans. Loaf pans will need the bottoms greased. I usually just spray them with no-stick, but I've also papered muffin pans, used shortening, used straight vegetable oil... Just the bottom of the pan, so the sides have something to climb up. Also, you'll need to loosen the sides of the loaf pan with a knife when you're ready to cool it down.

Mix your dry ingredients (flour, baking soda, salt, baking powder). I leave the spices and the sugar out of the dry ingredients. I may change amounts on those depending on the taste and smell of the batter. Also, since it needs to melt smooth, sugar and spices get added with the wet stuff.

Prep your citrus. You'll need as much of the peel and all of the juice from the fruit. I use oranges, typically, although I've used lemons in a pinch. You can use 1 of each if you desire, heavier on the orange if you do.

In a very large bowl, mix the cranberries, sugar, oil, vanilla, milk, and eggs. Blend it smooth.
Add the spices. Mix well.

Add the citrus peel and juice.

Taste it. Yes, taste it. Stick in a spoon, swirl it round, dip your tongue to it. TASTE IT. Can it use some more clove? Allspice? Citrus? Sugar? Vanilla? You should have a spicy, vanilla-sweet milky taste with a hint of orange and cranberry tartness. And it should be very liquid. If you hate the thought of eating raw egg, don't, but you really should.

Add the dry ingredients slowly, mixing thoroughly.
The batter should still be rather liquid for a quick bread. I've always thought it looks rather runny.

When the batter is mixed, turn on your oven to 350 degrees.
While the oven is heating, dish it up. Fill your muffin cups, pour your loaves.
Drop each pan onto the counter to make any serious bubbles break apart or rise to the top.

Bake for...
Loaves: 50 to 70 minutes, starting to check it every 5 minutes after the first 45.
Muffins: 25-30 minutes, starting to check it every 5 minutes after the first 20
Use the toothpick/skewer/knife test. If it comes out clean, and the top of the loaf is brownish rather than (this is wierd) greenish (it really does have a greenish cast to it), it's done. Remove from oven.
For Loaves: Cool in the pan for about 20 minutes. Remove from pans (turn it out onto wire racks, towels, etc), cool thoroughly.
For Muffins: Remove from pans immediately, set flat onto a towel or wire rack and cool thoroughly. This will keep moisture from forming on the bottoms.
Store in plastic bags in the refrigerator in a single layer. You can refrigerate it for up to a week, although I would be surprised if it lasted that long. This bread also freezes well. Enjoy.

First Cranberry Bread of the season.... MMMMm.... Tasty. And it's muffins for work on Friday. Strange... I just had 3 dozen... Wait. There's only 2 dozen left. Damn. It's been less than 24 hours... Damn. Ok. So I have enough for another batch, I'll make some more for work. Note to self: Self, stay out of the muffins.