You want fries with that?

You ever have a day when you just really don't want to go anywhere or do anything? I'm having that kind of a day. Shakedown is still going on (read that as "I'm still unpacking my kitchen"), there's not much food in the house - we've been frozen food-ing it for the past week or so- and I want something... Not microwaved.

I don't mind microwaving. I like the speed, there's a host of prepared products out there that are quick, easy, at least semi-nutritious, and cheap. But I really am not in the mood for a tv dinner or a burrito or a pot-pie or something like that. And yeah, Lean Cuisine meals DO qualify as a tv dinner to me. You heat it and peel back the top covering for a meal in a tray. That spells tv dinner.

So what to make? The microwave stuff is also usually stove friendly, but that doesn't count. I am just simply not in the mood for that. I want... Oooh... I know. I want fries. French fries, even though they were 'invented' in Belgium. I want hot, steamy fries, all that salty goodness... Most people, at this point, would pack up the car and drive to the local burger shack to get fries that are uniformly cooked to and held at temperatures specified by the shop's local board of health... I'm not most people. I really don't want that. But my freezer does hold a bag of fries (2 lbs for $1.50 at the local grocery) and I have shortening and I have kosher salt.

And I have a day off.

It's pretty basic, folks. Heat oil, insert fries, cook until golden , drain, salt.
First, I'm using frozen. It's what I happen to have on hand. Fresh is best (slice a potato how you like, fry it up), but I'll take frozen today. I use shortening because saturated fats, even saturated fats like vegetable shortening tend to brown things better. If you get the fat hot enough, you don't have to worry about it in moderation. I'm not saying it's good for you, you shouldn't eat fries with every meal, but the equivalent of the size of a small fry made at home will not hurt you on a day off.

Heat the shortening to 350 degrees. I use a saucepan (higher sides) to ease up on any splattering. If I were at my mother's house, I'd pull out her Fry-Daddy, but since I don't have one, I use a standard stainless steel saucepan. Why not non-stick? Metal utensils. I don't have wooden tongs, I don't have a silicone strainer. So I use a stainless pan and metal tongs and all is well in my world.

While the shortening is heating, create a 'drain rig'. This is a half-sheet pan lined with newspaper then paper towelling, then a cooling rack turned upside down. The upside down means the wires are resting directly on the paper. No drippies to clog up your food. This is a tip from Alton, folks, in I'm Just Here For the Food.

And it works. So create your drain rig handy to the melting pot of fat. Get your salt into an easy-to-use container (I recommend a small bowl or similar receptacle. I typically use a little 4 oz. juice glass). When your fat has come up to temperature (350 min., 400 max.), pull the fries out of the freezer, open the bag, grab a handful (my hands are small. I grabbed 10 fries the first pass). Set your handful as gently as you can in the hot fat and stand back. There will be splatters. Cook until golden brown. Remove using tongs or a spider (I have no spider, I used tongs). IMMEDIATELY after removing, put the fries on your drain rig and sprinkle liberally with salt. Turn them over, salt them again. I did 2 handsful. Napkin in the hand, fries in the napkin. YUMMY!French fries